Visuals

Warning
All photos are not in any order. I just uploaded what I felt like LOL
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Yesterday

Starbucks with awesome peeps yesterday! Thanks for trying to cheer me up my dearsssss! Love u guys to death!

Thursday

Shisha night out with my brossssss

Saturay

OOTD for iron man3 plus clubbing. IM3 was boring (to me) the story line is too common. I appreciate the action parts tho.

Last week

FINALLY, I DYED MY HAIRRRRRRRR. After gathering up all my courage for like a week, I did it!!

Dyeing in progress

Last week

Creepy face and outfit for date night

a random pic of my bun before I go pink and purple (and a little bit of green)

and some proper plus overdue pictures

someone got me this top at New Look. I can't wait to wear it outtttt. It goes so well with my maxi skirt plus it has that vanessa hudgens vibe that I'm going cray these days.

and of course, pictures of my hairrrrrrr.
I have no idea why I look fat in these pics. I swear I'm not that chubby in real life :D

a tragic love (maybe not) story

What will you do when the person you thought you loved and who loved you walk away from you during the hardest time of your life?
Your whole world falls apart not only because of him but because of all the things that's happening in your life right now.
You just announced your relationship to all your friends and all your friends cannot wait to meet him and he just walked away like that? 
Everyone will say "You're so dumb!" "Why would you trust him in a very short time?!" 
Let me just say that we were tgt for three months before I really decided to tell it to everyone. I was happy with him. Like really happy. I felt like finally I found someone who was patient to me, nice to me and caring and he taught me a lot of stuffs. He was my punching bag whenever something comes up. 
BUT I was too childish. I'm trying to work on it but I can't help myself. See, I'm a very very sensitive person. As I liked him more and more, I needed more security. So, I started testing him until a normal couln't stand it. I know, I was too childish. I was blinded. I couldn't think of anything else. 
He treated me like a princess. He treated me right. He was perfect for me and I thought I was perfect for him. I keep thinking while this is all over, I'll go back to normal me and stop testing him. So, I thought he could never leave me.
I WAS WRONG.
Well, you can say "If he's the one, he'll never leave." BUT if the other party is too childish and immature like me, every single guy will run the hell away from me. 
I got mad at stuffs that usually doesn't matter to me. I cried at every little mistake he made. I got mad when he replies me after 5 minutes. I got mad when he replies me 2 seconds later. I was a total jerk. but he put up with me, made me felt like I'm the best.
Now it's easier to see why It's so hard for me now to get over him, right? I was ready to make a change and boom, he left me.
I deactivated my facebook cos I couldn't bare to delete our photos or even look at our photos. I got reminded of how he was perfect and I blew it. 
All the happy memories. I played and replayed them in my mind and two minutes later, I'll find myself crying unable to sleep. I couldn't sleep for 3 days. Couldn't eat and couldn't sleep. I vomited everything I ate and I just can't go to sleep. I'll wake up in the middle of the night and will think of calling him but I could never do it. Then, suddenly, I'll cry myself to sleep or not to sleep. 
When he left me, he didn't say any reason why. I reflect on myself for the first two nights. What did I do wrong? What's the one big mistake that is so big that he left me? Actually it's nothing, it's just the accumulation of all the childish acts I did. He snaps and decided to leave me. Or was he just a good liar that pretended to like me just because he was bored? If so, he's a very good liar. 
It's just very hard to accept that he's not here anymore because he treated me like no other and I didn't get a chance to treat him the same way. I took him for granted. I was the bitch. Now that he's gone, I miss him so much. I couldn't eat a proper meal for 3ays already had 5 hours of sleep in 3days. Most of the time, I'll be crying and talking to my best friend. 
My friends tried to cheer me up but they all gave up. Nonetheless, they're still there for me but they couldn't do anything. Did I mention that I lost a very good bro to him as well? 
I remember I wrote a "Dealing with Breakups" post a while ago. I wish it was that easy. Now, I felt like I didn't know any better during that time. All I know was I wanted to have fun with all the fun new people.
Now, the kinda relationship I want is simple. We'll go shopping together, go watching movies, try new foods, new games, new places together. I'll tell him about my day and listen him talking about his. We'll sometimes cook for each other, give each other massages, cuddle and watch movie together. because our aspects in life are almost the same, we'll laugh about other people who don't have the same view as us. Go to the beach together, gym together and talk about how other people are fat and unhealthy. 
But now, he's having so much fun with his life now. I'm just sad... alone. I don't know how long will it take to completely recover from this. It kinda hurts to see that one person who claimed who loved you is having the time of his life without you. 
From every single relationship I had, I learned at least one lesson. I felt like I became a better person after each relationship. I wish I'm a heartless person. I wish I never existed. My mom wished I never existed. So yeah, all the important people in my life left me. 
I left my dad once but he never gave up on me. That's the only thing which keeps me from killing myself. Although we barely talk, he told me he'd try his best to do everything he can for me tho I left him and blamed him for breaking our family apart. At the end of the day, he was the only one who still wants me and makes me feel needed. I'm grateful for that. All my life, family always came second. "I" always came first because I'm that selfish. My dad proved me I was wrong. 
I hope I'll be happier tomorrow.

Before the sun rises

Lost in everything. Clouded with the definition of "perfect" that people always say. I don't know what I want. Right now, I'd like to study Parkinson's disease and stop reading everything else.

I wish I hadn't watched Grey's anatomy because I don't think I'll ever find a new favorite show. I wanna watch it all over again. But then again, I thought about CSI in exactly the same way. Now I hardly watch it.

Best things in life are those that come by surprises. I would say so. I'm a sucker for surprises after all.

I wonder what are exams for. Why am I studying the stuffs that I don't even like? What am I trying to prove? What if I can go to a nice medical school outside of singapore? How does those things will make me happy when I can't even enjoy myself? It's been a while since I met my friends since I partied hard since I see my clique happily going out since I went dancing without worrying about how I won't be able to study if I become too tired since I went to the gym and going around talking to people and laughing with them since I stayed up all night just to play poker and talk craps with my friends since I go on a date all night, talking craps while waiting for the sun to rise just because we have time? Now, I'm doubting will I ever be truly happy if I have to study study and study and have no social life at all ESP in medical school.

I hate myself for thinking too much.

And.... I can't handle peer pressure..

Self photography

Inspired by a very hot girl to do this. Lol. I'm not as hot as her or hot at all for that matter but I have makeup. LOL!
Self-photography is really a nice way to spice up lonely and dull nights.

Grumpy cat is grumpy.

My next hair colour :D

8bytes

8bytes (click here!)

My crazy friend started a Tshirt line and guess who's the model? Me, being his only cute friend, I'm the model! *roll eyes* LOL! Please go like the page and don't forget to check out the Tshirts. As much as I hate to say this, I think my friend did a pretty good job in designing those Tshirts.

I'll be sharing more photos soon. My favorite one would be "hardcore gangsta shit". It is a bit rude but hey, there's nothing to be serious when it comes to fashion stuffs right?

A reason to hate

"I don't know why. I just hate her."
Familiar with that kinda situation? If you're a girl, I bet u do. Plus I don't think we need a reason to love or hate someone.
Yesterday, I was criticized and frowned at a lot for saying that I hated a girl without actually knowing who she is. I hated her since 7th grade and I think I'll continue to hate her no matter what. Lol. People actually asked me why I hated that person because apparently, she's nice. But I just couldn't stand her existence. Whatever she does, I'm like "woah, look at that bitch smiling like she owns everything." I just can't help it! I know it's not really a good thing to say that I wanna slap people for no reason. Lol. But... Why do we need a reason?
I've always hated carrots. I don't know why. Orange is my favorite colour and I think carrots are so cute but I just can't bring myself to like it/eat it. I just can't appreciate its taste. Likewise, I can't like her too. Maybe I'm giving excuses to make myself feel better because hating people is a horrible thing. And what's more horrible is I already lost two very good friends just because I found out that they're her friends. I didn't even say why to them. I didn't give an explanation. I just simply cut them out of my life because I felt horrible. To this day, they're puzzled about why I stopped being friends with them. I couldn't tell them cos the reason is too.... childish. I don't intend to lose anyone anymore because of that useless piece of sh*t. Pardon me if I'm being too rude and personal lol
It's not because of jealousy or anything. She's uptight, ugly, nerdy, super traditional and boring (in my opinion). She's like most of the teachers' and parents' pet. Complete opposite of me. Maybe that's the reason. I'll never know. I just hope I found a way to deal with her because I really don't wanna lose anyone anymore over my hatred for her.
Sighhhhhh

USS

This is gna be more like a photo blog cos I have nothing to say lol. Went there with lots of people and my date but dunno how they'll feel about posting their pics so I'll be posting mine instead :D
Enjoyyy